Age in Reverse? These Apps Promise to Roll Back Your Biological Clock—For a Price

Silicon Valley’s latest obsession isn’t crypto—it’s cheating death. A new wave of apps claims to hack your biology, offering everything from telomere lengthening to mitochondrial boosts. But before you liquidate your Bitcoin to fund immortality, remember: the only thing growing faster than these companies’ user bases are their venture capital valuations.

How it works: Wearables track biomarkers, AI crunches data, and personalized protocols promise to shave years off your epigenetic age. Some even integrate fasting algorithms—because nothing says ’fountain of youth’ like an app that tells you not to eat.

The fine print: While early adopters swear by their de-aged bloodwork, skeptics note these startups operate in regulatory gray areas—the supplement industry meets quantified self, with subscription fees that compound faster than interest on a DeFi loan.

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